More Ups and Downs

These past few weeks have gone by very slowly, it seems like time is crawling by, a blessing and a curse I think......

I haven't had the heart to update so I decided to wait until after we went on our "mini" vacation this past weekend so I would have something positive to write about.

There is a foundation called "Jack and Jill Late Stage Foundation" http://www.facebook.com/JAJForg, that sends families of terminally ill patients on a family vacation.  They sent us on a memory trip to the JW Marriott Desert Ridge Resort in Scottsdale.  Matt really couldn't do much more travel than that so we decided staying in AZ would be the best.

The resort was fantastic and they treated us so well.  They had this sign up in the lobby when we arrived and then they set it up each day whenever they had an activity planned for our family.

They stocked our room with TONS of snack foods and drinks and then they provided every meal for us as well.  They had really great activities for our family such as a family barbecue, a day at Dave and Busters, pedicures for the girls, movie tickets, tie dying t-shirts, making survival bracelets, and s'more making with our own personal live entertainment.  The pools were beautiful and it was so nice to relax away from our reality for a while.

Logan and I read the book "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" and the boy who lost his father in the 911 attacks referred to his pain each day by the heaviness of his boots.  I like this analogy and feel it accurately describes how you feel when going through trials.  We have been wearing some really heavy boots these past few weeks but during this trip the boots were much much lighter.  :)


Since Matt has had the pain pump placed he is not having any issues with pain which is a true blessing.  He is though losing lots of weight and muscle mass.  Watching him grow weaker and sleeping the day away has been a difficult thing to see.  We understand it is all part of the process but that doesn't make it any easier.  Matt doesn't really talk much anymore and I read that when people are preparing themselves to die they withdraw within themselves to be able to process it all.  This makes us sad but again we are trying to understand that this is all normal.

We continue to be amazed at how wonderful people can be as we are surrounded each day by so many who show us kindness and support.  We have been getting meals almost every night and I receive texts, emails, and messages of love daily.  Please know that I am reading them and even though I might not respond, they mean the world to me. We are able to feel strength through all of you.  Thank you to those who reach out to our children.  They are struggling and your love helps them so much.  

Give your loved ones big hugs and tell them how much you love them.  Don't take things for granted.  Go on that vacation that you keep putting off.  Live life and love life!!