But as the date grew closer Matt insisted that he wanted to go, even if that meant just laying in bed with the windows open feeling the tropical breezes of Hawaii. After our nightmare experience of the hospital I was ready to get out of here and have some new scenery as well.
We packed our bags in a day and tried to include any supplies we thought we might need in case of a huge bleed on the plane. Blessedly Matt had only a mild nose bleed on the way over. Yay!!
The flight was hard on Matt but we quickly got him to the rental house and into bed. Each day Matt grew stronger and even ate a little more than he had been eating. We were able to do some really wonderful things while in Hawaii and there were even days that Matt was awake most of the day and up and doing activities. There were moments when we were able to forget about cancer and that was just what we needed.
The humid air helped to heal Matt's raw nose and sinuses and he only experienced one small nose bleed while in Oahu.
While in Oahu we went to the temple and did sealings. This was an incredible experience that although it was heart wrenching, it was also sacred, beautiful and spiritual. To hear the beautiful promises again of eternal marriage took me back to my wedding day and all of those tender feelings of love that I had on that special day 29 years ago.
We were also able to see Pearl Harbor, go on a boat ride out into the ocean and swim with dolphins, and snorkel at Hanuma Bay. Several mornings Matt and I woke early and walked to the beach which was a block and a half away and watched the sunrise.
By the end of the week Matt was exhausted as seen in the last picture that I took while at the airport waiting to get on the red eye flight.
We got home Friday night and Matt has been very tired and not eating much again. While in Hawaii I noticed that he had lost a lot of weight and when we got home I had him get on the scale. He has lost over 15 pounds in one week! The day before we left we met with the research doctor and Matt's weight had not dropped, something that I had expected, but during our trip to Hawaii he actually ate so I did not expect this big drop. Maybe it is just all catching up to him now??
When we met with the research doctor he had not had time to really study Matt's history again so he asked us to come back this week and he would give us his opinion, whether there is another clinical trial he can do, if he should revisit the original chemo protocol, or stop treatments altogether. This appointment will be on Tuesday and then on Wednesday we meet with another oncologist at Cancer Treatment Centers of America to get his opinion. Then Matt will have to make some hard decisions. He is getting very worn down and I am not sure his body can take much more. The other night he got teary eyed and said he didn't think he could do much more. It is so hard to see him decline like this. I will update again at the end of the week once we have an idea what Matt's options are and what he has decided to do. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers!
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