Staying the Course

Time seems to move forward so fast with so many things to do and then I realize that I haven't written to update all of you!

We were at the cancer center from the 17th - 20th and there is not much new news. Matt's tumor marker rose just slightly and the oncologist told us that is too soon to know if the new chemo cocktail is working or not. We were hoping for it to drop so there was some disappointment there.

There is good news, it seems that this new chemo doesn't make Matt as sick as the old medicine did. This is good news indeed in the fact that Matt has more energy and is able to have a better quality of life. He is still really bothered by the stuffy, bloody nose that seems to be getting worse over time. This is caused by one of the drugs that was not changed.

After getting the results of the last ct scan, Matt and I have sat down and made some family and personal goals for how we want to spend this precious time that we have together. We have made a lot of summer plans where we hope to create more beautiful family memories. Our first trip will be in two weeks and we will be spending a week in St. John, US Virgin Islands. We are staying in a large home near the beach and we plan on relaxing and playing together the entire week!

We have plans to go camping and to go up to Yosemite with our dear friends. Logan is coming home for the summer to spend it with his dad. He will go with Matt to the cancer center sometimes and this will help me a lot! I feel guilty leaving the four youngest for almost a week every other week. It is sad that they are growing up with such heavy life realities to deal with!!

Please continue with the prayers for Matt. We can feel their strength and have been so incredibly blessed over the past few months. Heavenly Father has not healed Matt, but he has blessed us so much in many other ways. All of our children are moving forward in their lives and they bring us so much joy. We have gained so many wonderful friends through this trial and have found that the friends we already had are the best friends ever!! Thank you all! We love you!

Triste…non ho buone notizie

È domenica sera e siamo ancora qui al centro del cancro. Ritorneremo a casa domani mattina, dopo una permanenza di una settimana. La colonoscopia è andata bene, visto che il tumore ha risposto alla chemio ed ora è molto piccolo. Dall’altro lato però la tac non è andata bene. I risultati hanno mostrato che i tumori ai polmoni sono cresciuti e sono apparsi altri piccolissimi. I tumori al fegato stanno diminuendo, quindi erano risultati con sentimenti misti. Non è comune avere un organo che progredisce, mentre l’altro non lo fa, ma è quello che sta succedendo. Il dottore di Matt vuole aspettare prima di cominciare qualsiasi terapia diretta al fegato, fino a quando non avremo sotto controllo i tumori polomonari. Ha cambiato di nuovo le medicine di Matt ed ora è tornato alla pompa di 48 ore dopo l’infusione, quindi dovremo ritornare ogni due settimane e dovremo stare qui all’ospedale per tre giorni.

Ci siamo incontrati con il tecnico della radiologia interventistica e ha visto tutte le tac di Matt e ha risposto alle nostre domande riguardo alla diretta terapia al fegato. Speriamo di poter riguardare di nuovo quelle possibilità, se queste nuove medicine funzioneranno.

Ci siamo anche incontrati con il chirurgo e ci ha detto che realisticamente Matt non potrà mai avere un intervento per rimuovere i tumori al fegato. Un tumore si trova precisamente sui alcuni vasi sanguigni che sono necessari al lobo sinistro del fegato. Questo significa che l’intero lobo sinistro dovrebbe essere rimosso, ma visto che lui ha tumori anche al lobo destro, non rimarrebbe tanta parte sana del fegato dopo l’intervento. Anche questa era una notizia triste.

Stiamo cercando di creare più ricordi familiari.

Sabato, io e Matt siamo andati a Tucson ad un funerale. Al forum del club del colon ho incontrato una meravigliosa donna cristiana il cui marito è morto a causa di un cancro al colon del IV grado. Il funerale era bellissimo e anche se Matt all’inizio non voleva andare, alla fine era felice di essere li. Tutti e due abbiamo sentito forte lo spirito di Dio e la mia amica è una donna meravigliosa con grande forza e spiritualità.

Dopo il funerale abbiamo incontrato i parenti e ci hanno presentato alla sorella di Bryan (il deceduto). Le abbiamo detto che Matt ha lo stesso cancro che aveva Bryan e che ora è un po’ più “pesante” e Matt ha fatto quello che sempre fa nelle situazioni scomode…ha fatto una battuta. Ha detto, “c’è un messaggio che vorresti che io porti a bryan?” Beh, sicuramente non si è aspettato una reazione del genere, visto che io ho cominciato a piangere fortemente!!

Il funerale ci ha permesso di parlare un po’ e Matt mi ha espresso alcuni desideri che vorrebbe per il suo funeral. Tutti e due eravamo molto grati della conoscenza che abbiamo che questa vita non è la fine. La nostra conoscenza del Padre celeste e del Salvatore rende il viaggio sopportabile. Sotto c’è il link della canzone che è stata cantata al funerale a cui piace molto a Matt. Lui vuole che questa canzone venga cantata al suo funerale. Spero che vi piaccia! Si chiama “If you could see me now” (Se potessi vedermi ora). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivM1ytYswNA

Cari saluti,

Niki

Sigh......Not Good News

It is Sunday night and we are still here at the cancer center. We leave tomorrow morning after being here for a week. The colonoscopy went well as the tumor there has responded to the chemo and is very small. The ct scan on the other hand, did not go well. It showed that the lung tumors have grown and some new very small ones have appeared. The liver tumors are still shrinking so it was mixed results. Of course this is uncommon to have one organ progress while the other responds, but it is what it is. Matt's doctor wants to wait to do any liver directed therapies until we can get the lung tumors under control. He switched Matt's medicine and he is back on the 48 hour pump after infusion so we have to return every other week again and have to stay here at the hospital for 3 days.

We met with the interventional radiologist and he went over all of Matt's scans and answered all of our questions about liver directed therapies. We hope to be able to relook at these options if this new medicine works.

We also met with the surgeon who told us that realistically Matt will not ever be able to have surgery to remove the tumors in the liver. One tumor is located directly on some blood vessels that are needed for the left liver lobe. This means that the entire left lobe would need to be removed and because he has tumors in the right lobe as well, there would not be enough healthy liver left after surgery. This was sad news as well.

We are making plans to make more family memories.

Saturday Matt and I drove to Tucson to a funeral. On the Colon Club forum I met a wonderful Christian woman whose husband just passed away from stage IV colon cancer. The funeral was beautiful, and although Matt did not want to go at first, he was so happy that he went. We both felt the spirit of God there so strong and my friend is an amazing woman of strength and spirituality.

After the funeral, as we were meeting the relatives, Matt and I were introducing ourselves to Bryan's (the deceased) sister. We were telling her that Matt has the same cancer as Bryan had and it got a little "heavy" and so Matt did what he always does in an uncomfortable situation...he made a joke. He said, "is there a message you would like me to pass on to Bryan?" Well he certainly didn't get the response he expected as I burst into tears!!

The funeral opened up some good lines of communication for Matt and I and he told me about some wishes that he would like for his funeral. We were both incredibly grateful that we know that this life is not the end. Our knowledge in a loving Heavenly Father and our Savior makes this journey endurable. Below is a song that was sung at the funeral that Matt loved. He wants this song sung at his funeral. I hope you all enjoy it! It is called "If You Could See Me Now." I was hoping for a link to come up but can't seem to get it right. The address is right, there just isn't a link. Sorry.

http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=ivM1ytYswNA

Love to all!
Niki